apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
