Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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