i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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