One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
