I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
