he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize