Can Purell be used as lube?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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