New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
