dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
