That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
