But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
