Yo dont text me then not text me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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