just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
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was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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