Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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