I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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