You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i need some magic done to my vagina
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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