Where is the hickey?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
