who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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