Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
