I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
