Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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