I wish i was in the wii world.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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