do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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