why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
