i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
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Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
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