you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
