Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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