Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize