dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize