It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
