i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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