i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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