Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
