Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
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Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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