3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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