should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
