so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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