Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
