Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
