I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
