He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
