They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
