DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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