So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
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Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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