you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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