Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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