i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
