So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
