john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
