Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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