epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
