i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
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Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize