whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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