you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
