Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
