Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think people are normalizing furries
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
