I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
