guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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