you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
