in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize