I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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