WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
